My original headline for that post was “Simon Cowell attacked by rogue Ethopian.” soon after I did some investigative journalism (i.e. Wikipedia) and learned that it’s actually Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour. The couple are on vacation in Barbados for the holiday. I can understand why he keeps her around. She seems handy. Simon could always use Teri as a walking stick whether he were on a lengthy hike.

Or, I dunno, perhaps as a karate staff whether he wanted to fight crime or play Ninja Turtles with Ryan Seacrest who always wants to be “Naked Shredder.”

Original post by The Superficial - Because You’re Ugly